My Memory Monday – Bologna

I was 14 on the day of the great bologna incident.
My brother is a year older than me but has asthma so he was always smaller then me and not near as mean as I was. When I was younger I was a big bully and thought the word please should get me anything I wanted. If it didn’t I took it and I dared anyone to take it back.
Frank was eating a bologna sandwich. I didn’t even like bologna but decided I just had to have a bite of it. I asked nicely for a bite (even said please) and the fucker had the nerve to tell me no! So I took it and got a great big bite. He slapped me so I threw the sandwich at him. The bread flew off and the bologna slapped him right in the face. And it stuck! Time stood still as that damn piece of bologna finally peeled off his face.
I saw the look in his eyes and he meant business so I took off running for my bedroom; through the kitchen and down the hall. I ran onto my bed and made a circle and went back through the hall. (He never did learn to just stand in the door, he always followed me.) I got to the end of the hall and inspiration struck!
He was closing in on me so I reached out and opened the refrigerator door. He ran smooth into that door with a loud *BAM!*. Knocked his ass out cold!
He still didn’t learn. I had to fight him the next time I said please too.

Published in: on June 23, 2008 at 5:00 am  Comments (1)  

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  1. This is a hysterical post!
    I have a bologna story also… When my boys were little, elementary school age, I think D was in Kindergarten… I decided that they needed a break from the usual PBJ sandwiches, and I packed them bologna sandwiches with Mayonnaise. It never occurred to me that those lunch bags would sit all day in their desks in warm classrooms and go rancid until after I picked them up from school and stopped at the store on the way home.
    BOTH boys threw up in the store aisle, at the same time!
    It was so disgusting. Neither of them has touched bologna since that day. Mother of the Year Awarded to ….
    Lonestar Gal!

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