My Mom

I knew when I started sharing my past my mom would take a big hit. Mom made a lot of mistakes in her life. I’m not going to make any excuses for her behavior other then to say drugs and alcohol had a tight hold on her for those years she was married to Gary.
If you met our family out on the streets, you would have never guessed anything was wrong. People that came to our house would never have guessed anything was wrong. Hell, my brother grew up in the same house and barely knew anything was wrong. He remembers our childhood a lot different then I do. I have said it before and I will say it again, things were bad for me but no where near as bad as some people had it. It could have been worse. All our needs and most all of our wants were taken care. We were never dirty, always had nice clothes, and we never went without food. On the surface everything was great. I do have some good memories of those years. Right now the bad ones outweigh them as I attempt to work through the things I need to work through.
Everyone that met my mom loved her. She really was a good woman that made many mistakes raising us. Once she got away from Gary she even evolved into a good mom. Her and I got really close and there was nothing I couldn’t talk to her about but, there were a few things I wasn’t willing to talk to her about. I have forgiven her for the role she played in my downfall.
I used to blog at another place. When I made the decision to start talking about my past I moved the blog. My daughter read the other one and I didn’t want her to have to reconcile the grandmother she knew with the mother that I remember. She finally got it right when my kids were born and I had no fears about their safety and well being when they were left with her.
I will not ask you to be nice with your opinions of my mom when I post bad things. Your feelings about it are natural feelings and I understand that. But I am asking you to keep in mind when you read these things that I am showing you a small part of my life with her. The bad parts are out there right now but the good will come. I will also ask that you not be surprised when if I jump to her defense.

Published in: on June 18, 2008 at 2:46 pm  Comments (4)  

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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I am so happy that you are able to have a good relationship with your mom now!
    I am glad that she was able to dump dipshit to the curb and kick the substance habit so that you were able to form that relationship.
    Yay you! for being a big enough person to have it in you to forgive. I think you are pretty awesome. And SHE is very lucky to have you for a daughter.

  2. Thanks!
    Sadly, mom passed away 6 years ago but things were great for the time I had her here.
    I have been trying to remember the day she left him and for some reason I can’t. I can remember a week or so after it but nothing about her leaving. Its like he was there and then he wasn’t.

  3. When I say that my mother drove me crazy, it was mentally not physically. I can’t even begin to understand what you went through, but I admire you for sharing it. When I would share stories about my mother when she was still alive, I would always preface it with, “I can say whatever I want to say about my mother, but I reserve the right to clobber you if you agree with me.”
    You are truly an amazing woman.

  4. Thank you!
    I tell my brother all the time that I can talk about mom all I want but he better not!

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