My Memory Monday

In an attempt to post more and to purge more things out of my brain I have decided that for awhile Mondays will be devoted to memories of my life. I will call it My Memory Monday because I like cheesy titles like that. Some will be good, some bad, some recent, some old, it just depends on what I wake up thinking about.
I don’t know if this first one is good or bad. It’s bad because Gary is an ass but it’s also funny because my brother and I were kinda stupid.
When I was about 12 or 13 Gary’s mom sent him a whole bunch of sample packs for cigarettes. Each pack had something like 5 cigarettes in it. They were kept in the unlocked freezer on our unlocked back porch. My brother had severe asthma and couldn’t hardly be around a smoker, much less smoke an actual cigarette. I was the rebellious kid and would steal one or two and light them up just to see if I could. I was smart enough to not steal those particular cigarettes because if found it would be known where they came from.
There came a time that the parents decided to tear down part of an old barn in our back yard. In this barn was a platform. (I’m not sure what it was for) Gary went after the platform first. And lo and behold he found not one but two empty packs of those damn cigarettes. We were immediately summoned to stand before him. He started asking us if we had stole them and hid them there.
We both adamantly denied any prior knowledge of the cigarettes, while he adamantly believed it had to be the two of us. As a parent I understand why he believed it to be one of the two of us stealing and smoking them. But also as a parent I know that when my kids are denying something that strongly, I might need to investigate further before I impose sentence.
Let’s look at some facts:

  1. Frank had asthma.
  2. We knew the barn was being torn down. If they were ours we would have moved them.

Our judge, jury, and executioner imposed a sentence of getting our ass busted every night after dinner until one of us confessed to the crime and received our real sentence. The first spanking took place that night. Gary didn’t just hit us once and go about his business, he nailed us good. (We didn’t receive spankings real often but you can bet we remember them all.) For three nights after we did the dinner dishes we were brought before him and asked if they belonged to us. We said no, he brought out the belt. Finally after the third night mom stepped in. She told Gary that was enough because if we had done it we would have broke by then. He had no choice but to let us off the hook.

Looking back I am sure Gary believed us but was very sadistic and probably just wanted to see if he could break us. My brother and I were both kinda dumb too. If we would have just said “Yup! It was me!” we would have gotten grounded for a week or two and received a no smoking lecture. Yeah, we weren’t that bright.

Published in: on May 26, 2008 at 3:28 pm  Leave a Comment  

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