The Old Me Part I

This will probably the hardest blog I have ever written. I realized a long time ago that when things start spinning around in my head it helps me to write it down, be it good or bad. I have spent many nights laying there writing this in my head but it doesn’t seem to clear it out so I guess I just need to write it out. I need to say it for all the world to see. It’s it is a tough one to write but the ending is a happy one.
Before I go any further it is important to me to say this: I in no way shape, form or fashion blame my mom or hold anything against her. She was the best mom she could be. Her and I made our peace long before she passed away.
When I was 4 my mom met a man stationed in Alabama. Shortly after she met him she married him and we moved. The marriage was very short. I don’t remember a whole lot about that time other then a few parties she took us too. We lived near the military base and the man had several of his buddies over or we went to their house for the parties. There was one man there named Gary. I can remember having a big crush on him because he was cute and he played with my brother and I when he was around.
Not long into that fateful marriage my mom just disappeared. We were told she was in the hospital. We later found out that she left the man and he was basically keeping my brother and I hostage. One day mom showed up at school and took us and explained to us what was going on. She had left the man for Gary. We moved to a new house in a new town and for a time we were really happy.
Soon after mom and Gary got married he started to molest me. I remember the first time he ever touched me as if it was yesterday. I won’t go into the details but I will say this, I did everything in my power to make sure I wasn’t around when mom was at work and he wasn’t.
One night him and mom got into a fight. He was a big man and my mom was 5′ tall and weighed a whopping 100 pounds. He reached out and slapped her and my mom knocked the shit out of him. He landed across the kitchen. After I saw that and he left the house I told mom what he had been doing. She immediately took me to some close friends and had me retell it all. I remember going to a counselor one time but, it was a short meeting. A day or so after that Gary moved back home. Him and mom were together until I was 16.
There was only one time I ever heard my mom acknowledge it happening. (I can’t remember how old I was but I was still young.) My brother and I were at the babysitters one night and when mom came to get us we were asleep. I heard her come in and I heard May ask mom what was wrong. I played like I was asleep because mom was crying and I was nosey. I heard mom tell May that her and Gary got into a fight and he said the only reason he touched me was because he didn’t want us he only wanted her and he knew we would get taken away from her if he did it. We spent the night there that night and mom took us back home the next day.