Nightmares

There are four boys that live in our neighborhood. They range in age from 12 to 16. My son being the youngest and the smallest. He has been told on many occasions that if he wants to run with the big boys he better be prepared for what they dish out. He is prepared for the most part but I didn’t realize until last night that I wasn’t.
The boys have always done their own little imitations of backyard wrestling. Robin has showed a couple of their videos on her blog. For the most part the boys “script” what’s going to happen and they video it.
Last Thursday Jeff and I were sitting in the living room talking. We heard a couple of the boys heading up towards the house in a dead run and yelling and cutting up. (Here’s the part that shows I’m a bad mother.) Messing with the boys, Jeff reaches up and locks the door. Dylan does his usual thing of beating on the door and yelling let me in. Finally Jeff unlocks the door and Dylan comes in. He is breathing hard (not unusual) and when he takes his shirt off he is all red. (Also not unusual) He told me they had all been out there playing around and wrestling.
Last night I saw the video the boys made of it. Well I saw one of them. Robin did try and warn me before I watched it but well me being me I watched it anyway. At the beginning you can see my son laughing and cutting up. Then the “action” starts and all you see is two big boys knocking my son down and beating the shit out of him. I have to say that Robin was right…I shouldn’t have watched that video.
I had nightmares last night over it. In my head I KNOW they were playing and all but in my heart that was my baby laying there getting the shit beat out of him. And we locked him out. What if that had been real? I have to step up my mom vibes. It hurts me every time I think about it and I really need to figure out a way to erase that video from my head.

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Published in: on June 4, 2007 at 4:08 pm  Leave a Comment  

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