Should I Worry?

Last night my daughter introduced me (kinda) to her new boyfriend. His name is Invisibob. He’s from Invisiland and speaks Invisibolian. She says he worships her but the only reason she continues to date him is because he is a good kisser. However, this morning she dumped him because she found out he was cheating on her. While she is asleep he sneaks out and meets up with a friend of her’s.
I love my kid!

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Published in: on February 27, 2007 at 5:15 pm  Leave a Comment  

Jeff and Jennifer (Part 2)

After that day we talked several times just me and him about nothing in particular. Still I kept my mouth shut and so did he. If you remember back I posted about someone pissing me off by making a comment about all my kids belong to the same woman… yeah, it was him. I knew what he was trying to say to me but it still flew all over me when he said it.
On December 30 MFE sent me a text saying Jeff needs a ride. So what the hell I go get Jeff and bring him back to the house to hang out with me and the kids. We went down to Robin’s house cause I had a few things I needed to finish up that I had just dropped to go pick him up. The kids went to our house for a few minutes. As we were walking in to Robin’s he just stopped and turned around and kissed me. Here’s where I go all girl: Right then and there I knew he was the one for me. I knew it would turn into more then just a roll in the hay.
I didn’t realize I would be marrying him in a few months but I figured this would be my semi – serious relationship I had promised myself would happen this year. As soon as we made it into the house I immediately went to the computer and deleted any profile I had on any dating site. My kids kinda fell for him quick too. That was scary for me because they never like anyone. They had always been my fall back when I knew I wanted to run from a guy.
Now everything hasn’t been peaches and cream. We did have a few rocky times but that’s to be expected. But, we dealt with them together and got thru it. I know this has been quick but it feels right. I don’t want to imagine life without him now that I have him. Some days it’s really weird because he can read me very well. He won’t let me get away with saying nothing if he asks me what’s wrong. He knows there is something wrong even if I’m not acting like it. But, he also gives me the time to work it out on my own before he “pounces” me about it. When he’s around I’m not as spastic as I have always been. He calms me and I’m not all over the charts.
I realized not long ago that my marriage to my ex husband was doomed from the start. I never felt for him the way I feel about Jeff. I have also realized that it was a good thing we never met when MFE first started talking about it. I was a different person then and I probably wouldn’t have realized he was meant for me. I know this but I am still amazed at the fact I was adamant that he was the one I wanted to meet instead of Brian. He is so far removed from any man I have ever dated or been attracted to before. Almost complete opposites. But he embodies everything I have ever wanted/needed in a man.
So on March 31 at 4:00 pm I will marry him. He keeps asking me if I’ve had second thoughts or want to run but for once in my life I am very clear on what I want and I am not a bit nervous about becoming his wife. There is nothing in this world that I want to do more! To MFE (cause I know you’ll read this) you did good…thanks for having my back!

Published in: on February 27, 2007 at 2:16 pm  Leave a Comment  

Jeff and Jennifer (Part 1)

Several months ago MFE went riding horses with a couple single friends. Apparently one of them during the course of this ride had mentioned finding “decent” women around here. MFE told me he thought of me and wanted to introduce me to them. (Yeah I know…I was shocked too!) He told me about Brian and showed me a picture of Jeff.
Throughout the next week MFE talked about the guys on and off. At one point he told me I would probably like Jeff better but he was gonna hook me up with Brian. Not sure why but that was his plan. I had plans to go out Friday night so MFE told me to stop by the sale barn on my way and he would introduce me and Robin. Well, I kinda messed around getting ready and MFE had already left the sale barn by the time I got up there. Jeff and Brian were supposed to still be there but I wasn’t gonna stop and just walk up to random guys introducing myself.
Some time during the next week MFE gave Brian my phone number. He never called me. It wasn’t a big deal to me because I wanted to meet Jeff. I’m not entirely sure why but I really wasn’t into meeting Brian. All the next week MFE called Brian (on speaker phone) and gave him hell about chickening out with me. I finally told him that I didn’t want to meet him cause I wouldn’t go out with anyone that lacked the balls to step up to me.
All was forgotten until a few months later when I get a call from MFE. He said “Make sure your dressed nice and wearing make up when you come to work tomorrow; I have a surprise for you.” I was a little leery because sometimes his surprises aren’t always good but, I wasn’t going to take any chances. I got up and made sure I had make up on. I walk in and there sat Jeff. I didn’t hear wedding bells or anything like that but I did think he was nice looking and very polite and I liked him. We didn’t talk a whole lot the first couple of days other then good morning and we picked at each other from time to time.
One day I went outside to smoke. Normally I will go out and smoke half and then come back in. I was standing there smoking and Jeff rode up on his horse. We started picking at each other and talked a little about horses. I ended up standing out there and smoking two. It was that day that I KNEW without a doubt I would have him in some way, shape, form or fashion. I handled him differently for some reason. Normally I would be very vocal about what my intentions were. This time I just sat back and kept my mouth shut. I was biding my time until it was the right time I guess.
To be continued…..

Published in: on February 26, 2007 at 2:16 pm  Leave a Comment  

I Got Gas

  • I was going to post today about the kick in the ass I got Saturday but I decided I need to keep that conversation for myself for now. It was what I needed and I have jumped off the emotional roller coaster I was riding last week.
  • Week before last my car died a horrible death. It’s got a cracked head. I still owe on the damn thing. If anyone wants to buy it off of me let me know. You will spend way too much for a car that has only had one oil change in the year that I have had it. It’s a two door and neither door opens from the outside. If you have a small kid, they can get in thru the trunk and let you in.
  • The following statement from almost two years ago keeps running around and around in my head today: “Are you having tissue issues? Did you know there is a ring of debris around Uranus?”
  • This has been a very weird weekend.
  • I have decided that I am lacking some serious “girl genes”. I’m not really upset that I don’t have them but right now they would really come in handy. I have a wedding in 5 weeks, so far my only contribution has been “Orange is my favorite color.”
  • When asked if anyone objects to me and Jeff getting married my daughter wants to stand and yell “I object!” I told her she could just cause I have always wanted to do it myself.
  • I tried to convince Jeff that it would be fun to get married on April Fool’s Day. He ain’t goin for it.
  • My almost 80 year old grandmother told me yesterday that she isn’t getting any nookie cause her 85 year old live in is having problems “down there”.
  • We went out Saturday night and drank for free all night and then came home with $20.48 more then what we went out there with. We always sit near the bar. Every time someone came close I said “Can I have a dollar?” Everyone that I asked gave me one, some two, one person gave me $5. I was asked what my name was and I made him give me $1 for me to tell him.
  • I couldn’t think of a title for this.
Published in: on February 19, 2007 at 9:56 pm  Leave a Comment  

My Week

This has been a very emotional week for me. I have had some of the highest highs and lowest lows. Monday the man I love asked me to marry him. Tuesday one of the greatest women I have ever known passed away.
This woman has always been there for me no matter what I was going thru. She always laughed with me or cried with me or bitch slapped me when I needed it. If I needed to run, I was always able to run to her. She was one of the very few people in this world that I actually cared what she thought of me. If I knew she was mad at me for anything it killed me inside and I did everything in my power to make it right. I am going to miss her with everything in me because I am fully aware that it is rare that you have a jewel like her enter your life. I am blessed to have known her and to have had her in my life.
Guilt has been another thing weighing heavy on me this week. I am so happy because of the way things are going in my life. I feel guilty about that sometimes because I know a dear friend of mine just lost the love of his life. For the most part I am getting over the guilt because Billie slapped me around yesterday and reminded me that Barbara would be the first one to kick my ass if she thought I was feeling this way.
I know as long as I have her memories she will live on and I will take her with me everywhere I go for the rest of my life. I love you Barb and thanks for letting me be the daughter you never wanted.

Published in: on February 16, 2007 at 7:25 pm  Leave a Comment  

It Is Time

It is now official. The date has been set. The plans are being set into motion. The ring is on the finger. Jeff and Jennifer are getting married March 31, 2007.

Published in: on February 14, 2007 at 8:56 pm  Leave a Comment  

Valentines

I figured with all the Valentine’s Day madness I would weigh in and give my 2 cents on the topic. It has never really been a big day for me. I don’t get into all the I gotta have flowers and candy and stuff from my guy. I have honestly felt that if he couldn’t do something like that thru the year why bother when a commercial reminds you that you love me. It’s kinda like Robin mentioned in her post today….it just kinda means more when you aren’t getting the stuff on the same day as every other woman in the world.
Yesterday on the way home from picking the kids up, Valentine’s Day came up and I told Jeff how I felt about it. Of course he reacted like any man would; first he was skeptical about whether I was testing him or not but then when he realized I was serious I guess he felt relieved that he was “off the hook”. I can’t say that I blame him though cause that’s a lot of pressure on a guy.
Last night we got to talking about it again and I realized that there is one Valentine’s Day that is very special to me. It happened 2 years ago. My husband had left me a couple months earlier and I was still in the grieving process for my marriage. I talked about this some in an earlier post but, it was the last time I thought about trying to kill myself. Well, technically it was more then a thought, it was an attempt but since I have to do everything half assed I hit the brakes and didn’t follow through.
That was the day of my rebirth. That was the day that I realized I was more then just Sam and Jimmy’s daughter, Dj and Dylan’s mom, or Travis’s wife. I was Jennifer. That was the day that I really started to get to work on me. In two days it will have been two years of a lot of really looking at myself and not just covering up problems but actually getting to work and fixing the things about me that needed to be fixed. It was a helluva roller coaster ride and I strapped all my friends in for the ride as well. We all survived it and for me at least I think I came out of it a better person. Ok…maybe not better but I did come out of it as Jennifer.
If it wasn’t for that day two years ago this Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be a special one either. It would be just another day. This year I have a man that I love and he is good to me. I’m no longer afraid that a man will tell me that he loves me and mean it. He has shown me he means it. How you might ask? Yeah that’s a story for a different day.
Published in: on February 12, 2007 at 9:32 pm  Leave a Comment  

Because You Asked For It

Since everyone has asked me so nicely to blog I figured I would throw something up here. My life has been a little bit of a whirlwind lately. In a good way but a whirlwind none the less. It’s a matter of trying to adjust from being just me and Dj to being a whole family again. I’m enjoying it though. I have had to get out of lazy mode cause I managed to get me a feller that is always on the go in some way shape, form, or fashion.
Last weekend we headed out to Lubbock to pick up his father and move him back here. It was quite an adventure. We left Friday right after work. After a few hours the truck broke down. The alternator went out. He babied the truck down the road to a motel and we spent the night and got up the next morning. I woke up with a killer headache and kinda laid around in bed until he got the truck fixed then we were off again.
We rolled into Lubbock about 4:30pm that afternoon and started loading everything up. We rolled back out of there at almost 2:00 am. Now about 3 hours into the trip on Saturday I started having an allergy attack. It lasted until we were almost home Sunday morning. I was miserable. But, even with all the trouble, I really enjoyed the trip down there and back. Poor feller was locked up in a truck with me for the whole weekend except for those few hours he was working on the truck.
Other then that there hasn’t been anything much going on in my life. I get up, go to work, come home, cook, shower, go to bed. Everyone has been sick around here so we don’t have much energy to do much of anything else. I promise to get back to things as soon as I feel better.
I guess I could just start blogging daily about how awesome my guy is!

Published in: on February 7, 2007 at 6:42 pm  Leave a Comment