Dating

I think I have finally figured out this whole dating site thing. I am going to share with you today my profile at the one I use.

I find most dating sites completely unoriginal. Everyone wants that honest someone else but then it’s the honest ones that are passed over. Even though I figure that is true I am gonna honestly describe me. I really don’t play head games but I will lie to you if I feel I need to, I’m a woman that’s what I’m supposed to do right? I really don’t care if your ex burned you really badly. Mine did too I got over it…you can too. I don’t need a man to take care of me I actually can do it on my own but if your willing to fork over the cash, I will take it. Yes, I do expect you to pay for our dates and no I probably won’t put out in return. I think I’m a good person and I think I am downright entertaining most of the time.

I do realize it’s a bit harsh and kinda sets me up as a bitch. The way I see it, it SHOULD weed out the jackasses. I have met a couple very interesting men that just want to find out if I am really that bitter. They have found out that I’m not and we talk on a regular basis. Just the other day after three emails I got a marriage proposal. (That weirded me out a tad. LOL)
Now for the other guys this line right here: I don’t need a man to take care of me I actually can do it on my own but if your willing to fork over the cash, I will take it. translates into…I am a drug addicted crack whore that bleeds men dry of all their money then moves on to my next victim. The couple of times someone has actually said that to me got them shut down real quick and ended with very nice apologies.
Then at the bottom of my profile I have this: ** If you are just looking for a friend with benefits most likely the only thing you will get is the benefit of the delete button. Which apparently translates into: Please fuck me retarded! I get at least two emails a day asking me to hook up in various forms. I usually just say no thanks or ignore them. (I did say usually cause sometimes I get a little mean…just depends on how they said it.)
Now one of my pictures is me standing in front of the mirror FULLY CLOTHED with my tongue sticking out. I just liked that picture of me. This picture translates into: Holy Shit her tongue is peirced! She must want to suck me raw!! My tongue is peirced because I wanted it peirced and well to piss someone off not so I could run around the world on a mission of mercy to suck off every man that ever had a tongue ring fantasy. (Just for the record most all men report no difference in peirced/not peirced.)
I guess all I’m really trying to say here is: Can one of you guys please get me a copy of the woman to man translation dictionary so I don’t have to think so damn hard?
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Published in: on December 29, 2006 at 7:36 pm  Leave a Comment  

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