Online Dating

I don’t know why, but for some reason today I have felt like putting myself out there. I have considered signing up for the dating services and such but I’m not so sure. I have surfed a few of them today and my prospects are kind of thin. Not because there is a lack of men in my area or that I don’t think they are good looking. I think they are all completely unoriginal.
One profile reads just like the next. If they aren’t overly mushy then they are openly perverted. I mean really, give me something to work with other then I’m looking for a good lady, and I can rock your world like no other man. Or even I am an honest guy looking for an honest woman. Ummmm duh! I don’t even feel sorry for the poor guys that advertise just how badly they were burned in their last relationship. You know I can swap horror stories with the best of them but I don’t want to know all the crap before I get to know you.
And how bout this describe your first date thing? The usual response seems to be a romantic dinner and a stroll around the lake. Piss on that…you don’t know me well enough to try and get romantic on the first date. Take me for some fast food and we can sit somewhere and just talk. Cause it’s first date…I ain’t giving it up! Or I will allow you to take me dancing…if you can dance. If you can’t I will walk off and dance with my friends.
Then as the last and final straw you have the guys (I realize girls are the same way but I’m not looking for a girl) that are in love with the idea of being in love. These are the guys that tell you do not contact unless you are wanting long term. Well how the hell am I supposed to know if I want long term with you before I contact you short term?
I think I am gonna post a profile and be completely original and tell it like it is. I think I will be that honest person that all guys are looking for. I will tell them straight out that I won’t lie to you unless I think I can get away with it or unless I think I really need to. I will say that I smoke too much and on the weekends I drink to much and can usually be found showing my titties to at least one guy. (They can look but not touch.) I will also clue them into the fact that I don’t care if you don’t like my best friend(s) they were here long before you came along and will also be here long after your gone. (Also they will cover for any lie I might tell even if I don’t warn them ahead of time.) And yes by dingies, my kids are way more important then you are!
Now… how is that for honesty? Think anyone will wanna date me?

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Published in: on September 11, 2006 at 9:59 am  Leave a Comment  

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