I’m Just Me

Why do people have such a problem accepting me for me? I accept you for you. I don’t care who you are. If you piss your pants on a daily basis I don’t try and change that about you. I won’t let you sit on my couch but I won’t try and change you. (Okay…I will laugh at you and make fun of you but I will accept you.)
Don’t get me wrong there are a few that do take me at face value. That is why you (and you know who you are) are actually considered my friends. The one place I go to that I have always been “allowed” to just be me and furthermore I am accepted for who I am is starting to turn into a place where people want to analyze me and turn me into something I’m not. Or should I say something they feel I should be. It just almost makes me want to find a new bar to go to!
This is a typical conversation for me. I have it at least once per weekend that I go out.
Other person: “Is something wrong?”
Me: “No, I’m fine”
Other person: “Then why aren’t you talking to me?”
Me: “I’m just enjoying the dancing.”
Other person: “I don’t think you really like me.”
Me: “I like you just fine.”
Other person: “But your not talking to me.”
Me: “Shut the hell up and dance!”
See, I like to dance. I don’t like to talk when I dance. Really the truth is…I can’t talk and dance at the same time or I will bust my ass for the whole world to see. If you want to talk come to my table between dances and I will talk your ears off. And I promise you will feel all warm and fuzzy when you leave because yes I like you just fine.
My question is this: What part of me walking in and hugging you and asking about your week makes you think I don’t like you? Because for the first 15 minutes I am there I am hugging and talking to all my friends. I make it a point to say something to everyone I care about when I see them. If you are a part of that group then the answer to your question is yes I really do like you. What part of you seeing me flat out ignore a couple of people makes you think I don’t like you? I mean I’m not ignoring YOU. It’s just me…accept me for me or go the hell away from me. (Damn that whole paragraph made me sound like a stuck up princess.) LOL
Now to answer your question…. No I really have no intentions of finding another bar to go to. I have some awesome friends at this one and they are what gets me thru my stressful weeks. They are the ones that I know I can walk in and pretty well say anything that comes thru my feeble little brain and they won’t take it as I don’t like them. They just laugh and accept me for me. Here again…you know who you are I don’t have to let you know every five minutes that yes I like you. But, just incase you don’t know it… I like you.
(Just one more quick side note while I’m on the subject of me… If you ask Billie what’s wrong with me and she shrugs and says I don’t know she won’t tell me, don’t give me the you know you can talk to me about anything speech. If I haven’t felt like telling HER yet what in the hell makes you think I am gonna pour out my heart to you? Trust me we do laugh at your attempts on our way home.)

Published in: on July 3, 2006 at 9:10 pm  Leave a Comment  

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